I'm A Fraud.

I don't even know who this person is.

I have this dorky photo of me on my blog and twitter profiles. A while back I took a photo of myself wearing a hat and sunglasses precisely because I don't wear hats and sunglasses. Sure, I might pull my hair back with a pair of glasses, but I almost never put them on. If I do, I take them off at the first possible opportunity. Often I'll have a pair on my head, but still squint into the sun while driving. I probably just look really absent minded. Also, I've never understood people who wear them all the time. Especially inside. I get the feeling they're trying to hide something or avoid a conversation. These people are inherently untrustworthy and should be avoided.

I don't find anything particularly wrong with the photo except that it isn't me. Well, not anymore anyways. I'm old enough that I still think the 90s were just a few years ago. Naturally, a photo taken around when I got married must be pretty recent. I can't possibly look that much different in just a couple of years, right? Well we all know the shock that results when we do that sort of mental math. A few years turned out to be nearly a decade! I tend to avoid getting my photo taken at all costs, this was one of the few head shots I could find. I had no idea so much time had passed. If this was a dating site I think it would be very misleading.

Firstly, my hair is washed and brushed. This does still happen, but not with the same reliability as before. Also brushed does not stay brushed for long. I quite often grab or ruffle my hair in frustration on an hourly basis. If bedhead was a new hot look I'd be cutting edge. My skin looks healthy and, dare I say, glowing. My skin has lost some of that glow now, but I suppose falling asleep with my make up on doesn't help. I also look awake. Almost chipper. The demeanour of someone who gets a solid eight hours of sleep a night. I don't think that has happened in the last four years. What I lack in sleep I top up with coffee. I never used to like coffee, now it's a life line. I can't see much more of me, but I'm guessing I'm probably thinner too.

I'm not complaining, mind you. I'm just pointing out that time seems to go by so fast. Life changes and so do you, whether you realize it or not. If I hadn't really stopped and thought about it, I wouldn't have realized how different my life is right now. Maybe that's why the old me in the photo looks so happy. Perhaps I could see all the great things that lay ahead of me. Of course if that were true, I would have taken a lot more naps when I could.