Honestly, I'd really like to know. We moved into our neighbourhood about five years ago. It's your typical first home sort of area. Lots of town homes amongst some single family homes. The neighbourhood is host to many young families, a few empty nesters that have downsized, and the odd single person just getting their foot into the housing market. More recently, say in the last two years, a number of the homes around us have decided to rent rather than sell. To say there is a high turn over in home ownership in our neighbourhood is to put in mildly. We have been here longer than most at this point.
As a result of being one of the "old guard" at this point, I've increasingly become interested in the "goings on" of the people around us. When my husband comes home I have all sorts of new gossip and innuendo to tell him. Mostly it starts with me, and not necessarily what I've heard over the fence. It's as if I spend all my time peering out between the curtains taking notes. I don't mind you. We have blinds. But I'm only a stone's throw shy of being that person. Usually it's something innocuous like which homes have gone up for sale or what others were sold for. How you would have to be crazy to buy for that price and how it bode well for us when we decide to sell. Our house is so much better than theirs was.
I have my own nemeses too, though they have no idea we're mortal enemies. Our neighbour behind us never seems to work. He's always taking care of his lawn or doing some sort of house maintenance. He has two teenagers and a wife that I never see. Sometimes I hear him shouting at or complaining about his son. He also has a German Shepard that likes to bark at squirrels. We have a lot of squirrels. Then there's the lady across the road from him and beside our house. She runs a home daycare. She's an older lady who dresses like she's auditioning for Jersey Shore. She tans so much she's kind of a burn orange colour. When I'm out the back with the girlsI can hear her shouting at her daycare kids. "Get off the road Emma!" "Don't touch that!" "Come back over here!" "EMMA GET OFF THE ROAD!" Emma is apparently a bit of a handful and really likes to play on the road. I'm convinced at this point that Doesn't Have A Job Guy wants to have or IS having an affair with Shouty Daycare Lady. They are always chatting together. She even bought a German Shepard, which I'm sure must be an excuse for them to talk even more. I've waved at them from time to time, you know, to be neighbourly and all. They never wave first though, and always look at me oddly when I do. They must know I'm on to them.
Most recently are the Idling Cars. There are these cars that just idle outside the same house all the time. Never the same car either. Sometimes there are more than one at a time. After awhile they drive away. Once I saw a police car idling around the corner too. I'm convinced that one of these houses is a grow op. It's the only rational explanation. They don't even mow their lawn, so it's not like they care about the place. Any day now there's going to be a big drug bust one street over. You just wait and see.
Unfortunately this nosey speculative behavior is not isolated. I won't even get into the whole Little White Dog That Keeps Crapping On My Yard incident. Those neighbours are one of the few that have been here longer than us. I see a real feud brewing here involving lawn signs and a local pamphlet campaign about the importance of leashing and cleaning up after your dogs.
Please someone stop me before I start complaining about someone's mailbox colour.
We've made up so many stories about old neighbors. And we've always lived in apartments, so there have been a lot of neighbors. I support your mailbox-color complaining.
ReplyDeleteMy gosh, I forgot about living in apartments. I remember my manager lived in the apartment above mine. *groan* Talk about taking your work home with you. ;-)
DeleteExcellent observations Ms. Kravitz!
ReplyDeleteheather,
Lol! No witchcraft...yet. However, my first set of neighbours were from Romaina. I NEVER saw their children, and rarely them, out during the day. They would also return to Romaina during the whole of the summer. I'm quite sure they were vampires. That being said they were very quiet. Vampires are excellent neighbours and don't sparkle as much as you would think.
DeleteThe house across the street from us was a drug house. Different cars all the time, staying just a few minutes, coming at all hours of the night. They just moved out, though. The boys would catch the bus at the end of their driveway and I'm sure they went to school with the munchies a few times just from smelling the pot smoke coming from their garage!
ReplyDeleteOur second set of neighbours were young guys in their mid twenties. They would "hot box" their garage in the summer and move to the basement in the winter. OUR basement would reek of pot and the smell of peanutbutter when they would do that. It was confined to the basement, thankfully.
DeleteI think it's nice that you notice your neighbors. Personally, I tend toward having no idea who they are. Occasionally a friendly nearby resident, who is going out of town, will ask that I tell them if I see "anything unusual." I am the wrong person for this job. Unless the unusual occurrence is going to be several midgets removing all of the neighbor's furniture and carrying it away by means of a purple moving van, I am not likely to notice "anything unusual."
ReplyDeleteSo, I think you are just a better neighbor than I am.
That must be it! Clearly my inability to mind my own business is a source for good. I'll have to point that out next time DH rolls his eyes at me. I'm providing a public service. Out of the goodness of my heart no less.
DeleteIf only we could choose our neighbors! When I owned a home, I thought my next door neighbors were the worst ever. They didn't take care if their yard, had a dog that barked non-stop, and took liberties when parking on the street and partially blocking my driveway. Now they're someone else's problem!
ReplyDelete