It's hard to hold your tongue sometimes. There are times that call for, as Kirk explained to Spock, colourful language. Those times are not going to magically disappear because you now have kids, in fact they are probably going to increase. To help you vent those frustrations without actually swearing, here are some useful substitutions for common words that are not child friendly. You're welcome!
- Shatner instead of Sh*t. As in: "Holy Shatner! I think I just saw something on the wing of the plane!"
- Frak instead of F#*k. As in: "What the Frak were you thinking sticking a fork in the toaster!?"
- Gorram instead of G0D D@mn. As in, "Where are my Gorram car keys?"
- Smeg. It kind of means it's own thing, so it's very versatile. For example. "What the smeg? You are a total smegging smeghead!" Have fun with this one. Get creative!
- Belgium. Well, if I need to explain this one we don't know each other very well.
- Smurf. For when a little blue language is what's required.
- Zarquon. Only use this when you don't mind looking like a total nerd.
- Shazbot. A good substitute for SOB. Again, kinda makes you sound like a nerd when used.