Honestly, I'd really like to know. We moved into our neighbourhood about five years ago. It's your typical first home sort of area. Lots of town homes amongst some single family homes. The neighbourhood is host to many young families, a few empty nesters that have downsized, and the odd single person just getting their foot into the housing market. More recently, say in the last two years, a number of the homes around us have decided to rent rather than sell. To say there is a high turn over in home ownership in our neighbourhood is to put in mildly. We have been here longer than most at this point.
As a result of being one of the "old guard" at this point, I've increasingly become interested in the "goings on" of the people around us. When my husband comes home I have all sorts of new gossip and innuendo to tell him. Mostly it starts with me, and not necessarily what I've heard over the fence. It's as if I spend all my time peering out between the curtains taking notes. I don't mind you. We have blinds. But I'm only a stone's throw shy of being that person. Usually it's something innocuous like which homes have gone up for sale or what others were sold for. How you would have to be crazy to buy for that price and how it bode well for us when we decide to sell. Our house is so much better than theirs was.
I have my own nemeses too, though they have no idea we're mortal enemies. Our neighbour behind us never seems to work. He's always taking care of his lawn or doing some sort of house maintenance. He has two teenagers and a wife that I never see. Sometimes I hear him shouting at or complaining about his son. He also has a German Shepard that likes to bark at squirrels. We have a lot of squirrels. Then there's the lady across the road from him and beside our house. She runs a home daycare. She's an older lady who dresses like she's auditioning for Jersey Shore. She tans so much she's kind of a burn orange colour. When I'm out the back with the girlsI can hear her shouting at her daycare kids. "Get off the road Emma!" "Don't touch that!" "Come back over here!" "EMMA GET OFF THE ROAD!" Emma is apparently a bit of a handful and really likes to play on the road. I'm convinced at this point that Doesn't Have A Job Guy wants to have or IS having an affair with Shouty Daycare Lady. They are always chatting together. She even bought a German Shepard, which I'm sure must be an excuse for them to talk even more. I've waved at them from time to time, you know, to be neighbourly and all. They never wave first though, and always look at me oddly when I do. They must know I'm on to them.
Most recently are the Idling Cars. There are these cars that just idle outside the same house all the time. Never the same car either. Sometimes there are more than one at a time. After awhile they drive away. Once I saw a police car idling around the corner too. I'm convinced that one of these houses is a grow op. It's the only rational explanation. They don't even mow their lawn, so it's not like they care about the place. Any day now there's going to be a big drug bust one street over. You just wait and see.
Unfortunately this nosey speculative behavior is not isolated. I won't even get into the whole Little White Dog That Keeps Crapping On My Yard incident. Those neighbours are one of the few that have been here longer than us. I see a real feud brewing here involving lawn signs and a local pamphlet campaign about the importance of leashing and cleaning up after your dogs.
Please someone stop me before I start complaining about someone's mailbox colour.
