Bacon: Pssst! Jen!
Me: *sigh* What???
Bacon: Would you like some bacon?
Me: No, not really.
Bacon: Oh, come on! Just a little bit!
Me: No. Go away.
Bacon: Well at least cook us. We're not going to last in the fridge forever you know.
Me: That's an awful lot of bacon. I don't know....
Bacon: You could keep some to crumble on salads. That's not so bad.
Me: True. A little bit on a salad is ok. Um, alright then...
Me: Wow, that's a lot of bacon.
Bacon: Yeah, that's way too much for a salad. You should eat some of us.
Me: I don't know..
Bacon: Sorry, what??
Me: Do you think so?
Bacon: Absolutely! Waste not want not, right? Why not put some in a wrap? Wraps are healthy...ish. TV says so.
Me: I could do that...I guess...in a wrap...
Bacon: Add some lettuce too if you want.
Me: OK...Oh there isn't much bacon left.
Bacon: No. No there's not. Seems hardly worth keeping really...
Me: Maybe I should just eat it...
Me: I'm just saying there isn't a lot left, I wouldn't want to be wasteful or anything...
Bacon: You should just eat us. You know you want to.
Me: I hate you.
Bacon: What did you just say?
Me: Shut up bacon.
Scott: Where's the bacon
Me: Shut up Scott