Sharks

According to Klout I'm influential in sharks. For those of you unfamiliar with what Klout is here is a definition I ripped off the interweb:


"Klout measures influence online. When you create content or engage, you impact others. Klout analyzes that impact to find your Klout Score, influential topics, and your influencers."1

If you'd like to learn more about this ask Karen Wilson at The Media Mesh. She's a social media guru; whereas I know very little and border on being a ludite.

In fact, according to Klout, I'm also influential in coffee and zombies. Variety is the spice of life I guess. I've never actually mentioned anything about sharks, so that just goes to show how well Klout must really know me. I didn't even know I knew anything about sharks myself! I must have watched Shark Week at some point and subconsciously remembered something important about it. I now feel pretty confident to impart all my worldly shark knowledge to the world at large. I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone.

1) Sharks don't swim backwards. Unless they have been altered genetically and are now super-intelligent killing machines. As opposed to the regular old fashion killing machines I suppose.

2) Sharks are very vindictive and can really hold a grudge. If you tangle with a shark and live, you better make darn sure you finish him off for good. If not, he'll come after you and everyone you care about.

3)Sharks are extremely fast swimmers. In fact they can swim faster than a plane can fly! So, as mentioned above, you better make sure you finish that shark off! There is no where you or your family can hide.

4)Sharks can grow to the size of their environment. Yeah, I know. They live in the OCEAN, so they can get pretty enormous. They have been known to tangle with giant crocodiles and octopuses and win.

5)Shark heads are ergonomically incompatible with laser mounts. (double sided tape DOES NOT WORK)

6)Sharks are totally badass.