Tuesday, July 3, 2012

All Kid's Shows Should Include Jon Hamm

There are a lot of things right with how wrong this story is. Or rather, this story is wrong in all the right ways. Or something like that. Now you're probably looking at the photo to your left (no your OTHER left) and thinking, "Why do you have a photo of Jon Hamm?" Well, let me tell you a story about how a grown woman's decent into SAHM-ness is now complete.

After lunch Miss A and I decided to watch a little PBS. We had already done a few crafts that day, so I didn't feel guilty thought she earned a little tv time. As long as it was educational, of course. As it turned out Martha Speaks was on, which is a cartoon that teaches new words and their meaning to preschoolers. The dog, Martha, eats some alphabet soup and can now speak. Hence the title. Sure why not? It's not like preschoolers are going to suddenly force Fido to eat can after can of alphabet soup, right? That's ridiculous; they'd never get the cans open.

So we're watching and I'm thinking, "Hey, the voice acting is pretty good! Actually, the writing is too. Weird." Kids shows are usually not known for their award winning writing and voice talents. Then I think to myself, "Hey, I recognize that voice! OMG, that's Jon Hamm!" Important to note, I actually say O.M.G. with a slight hint of valley girl. I'm not proud of this. So I watch the whole thing and it was awesome!




Seriously, is that not funny stuff? So that sad part of this is, and it's also the fantastic part, is I don't even watch Mad Men. I've never seen a single episode despite much goading from friends. I recognized his voice from Chris Hardwick's Nerdist podcast where Jon was a guest. He was super funny and geeky, and that's why I like him! So it's not "OMG you're Jon Hamm from Mad Men!" But, "OMG <insert valley voice> you're Jon Hamm from that podcast I heard once!" So yes, I got excited about a kid's show and started Googling the crap out of it. AND, I reaffirmed my geeky place in the world. Both of which were kinda wrong, but kinda right in all the best ways. Now if you'll excuse me I have another season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer to watch.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Favorite Joke

I love jokes and it would be pretty hard to come up with just one favorite. Usually they involve funny voices, hand gestures and impersonations, so don't necessarily translate well written down. I remembered one from high school that I thought was pretty funny so I'll tell you that one.

A fighter pilot is flying over enemy lines when he is shot down and captured. He is badly injured and his captors are forced to amputate his leg.

He begs them, "Please! When you are flying over my home country during one of your raids, would you toss my leg out, so that a piece of me might rest at home?"

They agree to do this and when they next flew over his country they returned his leg. Later he had to have his other leg removed and he asked the same question of them. They agreed once again and returned his other leg to his home county. Yet again, the doctors discovered they had to amputate his arm! He asked them if they could do the same for his arm as his legs. This time they refused.

"Why not?" the pilot asked? "You have done this many times before!"

The commanding officer turned to him and replied, "We think you're trying to escape!"

And we all roll on the ground laughing! Well maybe not, but it could have been a lot worse!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

NaBloPoMo - A Cure For Blog Neglect

NaBloPoMo July 2012
 I had been kicking myself lately because I hadn't been regularly posting anything to my blog. There was always something else more pressing to do. Cleaning, watching TV, Pintrest, Facebook...er, well, maybe there really wasn't anything that pressing actually. I guess the problem was I just wasn't making time for it. Even when I had a good topic and partially written it in my head, at the end of the day I just let it drop. I'll do it tomorrow, or the next day, but those days came and went and I wrote nothing. Writing for me was like jam. Jam yesterday,  jam tomorrow, but never jam today. The only thing that got me writing was NaBloPoMo.

I thought that maybe I'd head over the BlogHer and check out the theme for July. I had never used the writing prompts before, but thought I might give it a try this time around. I was pleased to discover that the theme for this month was Kids. Great! I have kids, I even was one once. There should be a wealth of experiences to pull from. Most of the stories told around the family dinner table involve the poorly planned exploits and misadventures of parents, aunts, and uncles. I've heard these stories so many times that they practically write themselves!

The other benefit is that the writing prompts are posted ahead of time. I do have vacation time at some point this month. Ok, not so much a vacation but a change in location. With a view. I can write a head of time so that I don't miss a day or am forced to find a Wi-Fi connection in the woods. Ta Da! I really have no excuse this time. Well, except cleaning, TV, Pintrest, Facebook....

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Life is Like a Zebra

Something occurred to me the other day. Life is like a zebra. Now that sounds kind of cryptic, and it is, so I'll explain. We all have good days and bad days. Sometimes we might want to rename those "bad" days "challenging" days, because a part of us is totally aware it could be a lot worse. However, while we're in the thick of that can be hard to acknowledge. Whatever the case, those moments in time pass, as many have before, and we have a "good" day. With a certain amount of reflection we realize that we were able to get through the rough spots and they weren't all consuming as previously felt. We overcame and triumphed! Those "good" days, or perhaps even moments, are little islands of positivity. I love my home. I love my perfect kids. I love my life. We are at peace with our lives and our place in them. That's where the zebra comes in.

Depending on your perspective you can see a zebra as a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. How you choose to see the zebra has everything to do with your perspective. Neither is right nor wrong, but illustrates how perspective influences your experience of the same thing. Do you see white stripes or black? Good days come and go, and so do the bad ones. Which stripes do you see? Do you have a happy life with some bad days, or do you have an unhappy one with some good days thrown in? Choosing your perspective and what you focus on really changes how you define your life and the world around you. Do you choose to see good or choose to see bad? I think we all need to shift our focus and acknowledge that we have a much larger and more complex role in defining our own lives and happiness. The world we live in doesn't start outside ourselves, but from within.

Miss. A and I were playing with some tigers and zebras the other day. She sees a black horse with white stripes, I see a white horse with black stripes. Neither of us is wrong, just different. Maybe we can learn something from each other.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

VegChallenge Done. NEXT!

For the month of May I decided to challenge myself and eat vegan for a month. The reasons behind that decision were many and varied. I wanted to improve my health and diet. I'm not an unhealthy person by any means, but there's always room for improvement. Incorporating a more plant based diet into your own eating habits has a huge positive impact on your over all health. I wanted to see this first hand, eating vegan for a month would force me to experiment with foods that were entirely new to me. I also wanted to use it as a learning opportunity. For those that choose a vegan lifestyle what challenges do they face? Our society and culture is very single minded and I suspected there would be many roadblocks that would need to be overcome along the way. Lastly, I wanted a personal challenge and see it through. Not so much as a test of ability but of character. I, and anyone else, has the ability to eat vegan for a week or month or forever if they choose. What I wanted to know was would I, when no one was looking, cheat or cut corners? Like Plato's Ring of Gyges, what I did when no one was there was perhaps more important than the content of the test it's self.

The Internet is a wonderful thing! I found so many fantastic recipes online and I've collected my favorites in a binder. Yeah, I wrote them out in pen on actual paper. Occasionally people still use this medium. I also have a VCR. I use that too. What was really nice about last month was all the variety on the table. I ate lentils, black beans, black eyed peas, bok choy, spinach, and so many other things I don't normally eat. The food was full of colour and flavor. I also found that I didn't waste as much food as I thought I would. We all, at least from time to time, have a fridge full of healthy food that just sits there until it wilts and rots. I found that because I was relying on plants wholly, not just as filler or a side dish, nothing was going to waste. Also a large amount of food was dry, such as pasta, rice, beans, nuts and seeds. These things keep forever. Basically anyways. A lot of what I made was from scratch as well. Only a handful of ingredients and everything easy to pronounce. I made big batches and what I couldn't freeze I ate the next day for lunch. As long as I planned my meals ahead of time everything went smoothly. When I didn't, I paid for it. I learned leaving things to the last minute resulted in a very grouchy me! On a few of these occasions I had trail mix and popcorn for dinner.

Did I feel my health improved? I'd say "yes" for sure. Initially I had headaches and was very hungry, but by the second week that had passed. Normally by 2pm I was worn out and wanted a nap. By the second week I found I had more energy and wasn't tired in the after noons. Lately I also found that my hair and skin looked dull. I chalked it up to being tired and starting to look my age. I just looked and felt tired all the time. By the third week I found not only did I feel better, but I looked better too. Now I'm not one to give myself any sort of compliment, especially physical. I am pretty hard on myself most of the time. However, I found that my hair seemed shinier, my eyes brighter, and my skin had a healthy glow. I suspected that I'd  feel better but I didn't think I'd look better. An unexpected but totally welcome benefit!

I found initially that it was difficult to find foods that had no animal products in them. There was a lot of label reading and wandering around looking lost. Eventually, especially when I found a few meals I liked, it was easier. Most of what I ate was fresh and homemade, not processed. That saved me a lot of time at the store. Eating away from home was probably the hardest. A lot of salads even include meat and dairy! You don't really realize this until you're trying to avoid these foods. They are EVERYWHERE! I can totally appreciate the need for vegan restaurants, bakeries and shops now.  You totally take for granted being able to just sit down at a restaurant and order whatever you want without dissecting the menu. I also felt bad that I had to turn down food while visiting friends and family. I felt like I was insulting them. There's a lot of pressure to accept what's being offered because you don't want to seem rude or difficult. I imagine that this might cause some friction between friends and family and really test your commitment to veganism over the long run. Those who do decide that a vegan lifestyle is best for them don't do so lightly. There is a lot of pressure to undermine those efforts and it take a real commitment and hard work to maintain it.

Ultimately I DID manage to eat vegan for a month. I was pleased to see that I didn't cheat or take any short cuts. My family, especially my husband, kept me on the straight and narrow. I feel that I learned a lot and am much more conscious of what I put in my mouth. I feel more knowledgeable about food and what our bodies need to be, not just healthy, but thrive. I'm definitely going to ensure my diet is mostly plant based in the future because I see what positive changes occur when it is. That being said, my decision to eat more vegan like is more based on health than any ethical leanings. Vegans don't eat anything from an animal, but also avoid any products from an animal. No leather, wool, makeup, even some medicines tested on animals. It's an ethical stance to ban all animal sourced products from their lives. So when I say I was "vegan" for a month, I wasn't really. I feel like there really needs to be two different definitions. The "vegan" that chooses a plant based diet, and the "vegan" that chooses the whole lifestyle and accepts the ethics and morality behind it. They're so very different and not acknowledging that difference seems misleading.

Anyhow, I'm being told I'm typing too much so I'll stop now...

Monday, May 14, 2012

Veg Challenge Week Two

It has been officially two weeks since I started the Veg Challenge! So far so good! There have been a few ups and downs, but those have been relatively minor. I found that the headaches didn't return and nor have I been overly hungry at all. The first week I tended to snack on this and that between meals; this week I've found that I didn't need to do that. My husband has been super supportive and has made sure I kept on track. Just today he was going to make some rice cooked in chicken stock and then, realizing I couldn't eat it, started over again. I wouldn't have made a big deal of it if he hadn't, but he obviously wanted to make sure I reached my goal, so I'm thankful he's keeping me on the straight and narrow.

One of the questions I've been asked since I started is whether I've lost any weight. I suppose the assumption is that you eat mostly salad and rabbit food, but that certainly isn't the case! I may have cut out a number of things from my diet, but I've also added in a number that wouldn't have normally been there. I eat a lot more rice, beans, nuts, potatoes, bread and a handful of other things I wouldn't have previously eaten. I doubt anyone has ever lost a ton of weight eating those on a regular basis. Previously, I would have eaten a small amount of lean meat, fish, veggies, fruit and no fat yogurt. I would have rarely eaten bread, and certainly not white bread, rice maybe once a week maximum, and potatoes maybe once or twice a month. I'd have a better chance of losing weight on my regular diet! I'm more surprised I haven't gained weight! Although, I'll admit, my percentage body fat is down, which definitely counts for something. So unless you have absolutely dreadful eating habits to begin with, eating vegan isn't going to be some magic weight loss plan. As well it shouldn't! Vegans eat this way all the time. Can you imagine being on a diet for the rest of your life? That would be crazy and certainly not healthy!

The highlights of the week included completely botching a huge batch of chili and having dinner at my parents and in-laws where, of course, I wasn't able to partake in what everyone else was eating. My first instance of social "I can't eat that" awkwardness. But no worries, everything worked out.

Well, except the chili. It died a horrible death despite my repeated attempts to resurrect it. It takes a few hours to make, so I decided to start it after the kids were in bed. That meant staying up late, but it would make about six meals, so I figured it was worth the investment of my time. I had made it once before and it was really good.  While it simmered for two and a half hours, I diligently checked on it to ensure it had enough liquid and give it a bit of a stir. Wouldn't you know in the last seven minutes I burned the damn thing! How it happened I don't know. I blame the Internet for distracting me. R.I.P. Chili. I didn't know you well, but you stole three hours of my life I will never get back. And you tasted like crap.

My parents apparently don't read my blog *wink wink*, because they had no idea I wouldn't be partaking it those delicious burgers and delectable lemon meringue pie...drool...sorry. I made myself some roasted potatoes and sweet potatoes to go along with the salad. Lemon meringue pie is my favorite. Insert frowny face. The next day at the in laws I planned ahead better and brought some homemade soup to go with the salad and Italian bread they had. It was a delicious sweet potato, green apple, carrot and leek soup. So good! I'm glad I have more of it in the freezer. The peach pie *may* have had a teeny weeny amount of butter in it, but I can't be held accountable for my own ignorance. Ignorance truly is bliss.

So week two is done like disco and we're on to week three!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I Hope Babies Bounce

My cousin just had her first baby yesterday, and Miss. A has been obsessed with it! She LOVES this little baby already. I think it has sparked an interest in babies in general. She's been particularly intrigued with where babies come from and the fact she and her sister were once babies. After mulling it over for a while, she seems to think she's got it all figured out. At least this is what I gather from the conversation we had at bedtime.

"When I'm one I'll be a baby and I'll have one candle." She said firmly.

"You were already one, and you did have a candle. You just don't remember because you were a baby." Tenses are not her strong suit.

"When I was a very small baby I was in your tummy."

"Yes"

"And  <Baby K> she was in your tummy too."

"Yes"

"I was in your tummy and then I popped out"

"Er...yeah, pretty much."

"And <Baby K>, she popped out too. And you caught us"

"No, the doctor caught you"

"And <Baby K> ?"

"Yes, her too."

"He caught us and lots of babies and he juggled us"

"Yea..er...no! You don't juggle babies!"

"Yes you do. In Megamind, Metroman juggled babies."

"Yeah, but that was a cartoon, and HE was a SUPERHERO. Regular people don't juggle babies."

She seemed to think about this. "Yeah, it's too noisy. The doctor should put them down gently."

"That's a much better idea."

The bonus to this odd conversation was it allowed me to skip a few pages of Alice in Wonderland without her noticing. I'm glad we had this conversation now and not once she was kicked out of Med School.